do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
