I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
