Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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