I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Randomize
