dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
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