I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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