Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
She announced her abortion via fbk
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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