Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
