he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
