...so i touched it.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
