i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Randomize
