I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Randomize
