I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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