you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
