I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize