Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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