toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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