Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I need to stop coming to work sober
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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