party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
