Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
