Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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