i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Randomize
