ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
