his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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