Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I wear drunk well.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
