Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
