I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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