Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i will never coherently bang her
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
