I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
