Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
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If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
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But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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