If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight lets celebrate not being married
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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