What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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