I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
