Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Randomize
