Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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