I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
