The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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