What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
