Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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