just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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