is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize