So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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