Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
