Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
