So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion