How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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