Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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