these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Randomize