Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
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