Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
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