I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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