it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
