You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
