dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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