Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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