There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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