she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I just googled if crying burns calories
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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