We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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