If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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