I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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