I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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