I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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