Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize