It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize